What if

Today is Maundy Thursday in the Holy week. I have read passion story in the book of Matthew this morning, asked several questions with "what if". You might have asked the same questions like me. The questions are not that impressive but I was wondering what really would happen. The first question has occurred at a scene of Gethsemane when Jesus went out for serious prayers, the disciples fell asleep deeply. What if they did not fall asleep and really prayed deeply with Jesus? How about Peter? What if he really prayed that night then would he deny Jesus still three times? What if Jesus prayed to God only for removing his cup? Did God answer his prayer? I know that it sounds too simple to even answer. However, I have thought about them. What if Peter did not deny but said "I am one of Jesus' disciples? What if Pilate told the Israelite that he could not put Jesus to be crucified? what if one of soldiers stood up for Jesus when he was beaten, said "don't beat this man! he is innocent!"? so many what if questions came up to my head this morning without ceasing. If I was there watching Jesus crucified, what I would do? I can't answer any of those questions but can tell for sure that whether I wanted to think with those what if questions, Jesus must have taken the Cross without a doubt to deliver us for sure. I also thought about God, the Father's heart to see His only Son got crucified. Not only Jesus, but also God must have had most difficult moment to let it happened. One word from Him could destroy all of the earth but He could not do it.
Asked one more question to myself, then, am I that much worth? Jesus died for each of us whether we feel worthy enough to deserve Him or not. It means yes, we all are worthy for Jesus and the Father. I just want to tell God "Thank you so much" for letting us know how worthy we are through Jesus. I pray that we all feel worthy no matter whom we are throughout the Holy week.
Ah, Holy Jesus.... thank you so much for your love. Ah, Loving Father, thank you so much for your endless love.