A couple of weeks ago, there was a sermon about inclusive. Well... our church is very open to diversities for sure; there are people from more than 40 different countries attending the church. The council always makes clear that "inclusive" in all ministries not only racially but also any kinds. We talked about issues learned from a movie" Remember the Titans". The pastor challenged congregation that we need to go further deeper to accept others as part of their families because people are nice to others. On that day, there was a luncheon followed, the pastor intentionally told them that he expected to see tables filled with various people.
I have been working here for almost two years. I shared with other people how different southern cultures from Indiana where I used to live for more than a decade. My first year in southern GA was lonely. I hardly get a phone call during weekends, or holidays. I noticed that it was not intention that they didn't invite me to their families or circles, they just never been with others like me before so they did not know that I was alone. My children had same problems, hardly got invited to birthday parties or play dates. I prayed hard for God's guidance. So, I started inviting people into my home for dinner, or hang out. They did not become my close friends but still came for my house. Some of them became closer friends.
When I moved to Northern Virginia, I found out that people get more used to "diversities". There are many Korean groceries, Indians, Latinos, etc. I was excited to be a part of this opened community. However, reality has been the same as previous experience: I hardly ever get a phone call to hang out during weekends, or holidays. In fact, I never get invited to any family houses for a dinner. I don't think people realize it. People in Northern Virginia have same excuse; "They are busy". Of course, we all are busy. I can't point to anyone because I haven't been able to invite them either due to my tiny town home and living with my in laws. However, still... my heart has ached to think about it really. I tried to get involved in small groups, but still none of people invited me for even lunch. How about my colleagues? Yes, I want to be their friends and I think I am but never been invited to their houses either even from my boss. What can I say more?
Why is it so hard to have good family friends? Why? Am I specially difficult to be hang out? I have asked several questions to myself but still could not figure it out.
I have many friends in various races. Most of them are from Indiana. I consider them as my family members. I call them often, send them cards, notes, and miss them like my family. They invited me and my family in their family thanksgiving dinners, Christmas dinners, weddings, and funerals. I cried and laughed with them thoroughly. But why is it not happening in here? what do I do differently in here? Am I the one who need to be changed? I still am not sure. Maybe God wants me to pray about this more seriously.
