Jehoshaphat

I don't remember when we started reading our bible in the sanctuary last year. I think it was in the fall. We are now in the middle of 2 Chronicles. Reading bible loudly has been helping me in many ways. Mostly, I enjoy so much especially prayers of prophets, great kings like David. I read from chapter 20 to 22 this morning. In chapter 20, I was stunned by the scene of a prayer. Most time when I read the bible, scenes are alive like watching movie right now. It happened this morning too. I could see Jehoshaphat and people kneeling down in front of God asking mercy. When Jehoshaphat heard that a vast army is coming to fight with them, he did not prepare the war at all. Instead, he did kneel down and told all the people even children and women to do same with him in front of God. Most amazing thing was Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing the Lord and to praise Him for the splendor of his Holiness with " Give Thanks to the Lord for His love endures forever!" The Lord set ambushes again the men of Ammon and Moab and all of them were killed by Him when they gave thanks to the Lord. Jehoshaphat truly knew who is the Lord of lords, the King of kings. Even though he was not perfect, made a mistake, I learned from Jehoshaphat's prayers how to defeat my fears and worries through prayer and praise. I bowed down with my face to the floor and raised my hands like Jehoshaphat this morning with my thanksgiving for His love endures forever. What a blessing that I am allowed to this to the Lord!

Being a excellent conductor

I have been conducting since I was a fresh man in college. I conducted some before but did start at my fresh man year at my church choir small group. The group was called "Royally" that we visited one of big hospital next to our church in downtown Seoul every Sunday morning from 8:00 for an hour. We sang hymns in every other floor at a center of each floor. (It had fourteen floor) Sometimes, people asked us to visit their rooms. We sang and prayed with them. I was not volunteered to direct but somehow I became a director of the group. I truly enjoyed it and never missed one single Sunday for three years. At the end of second year, I mostly memorized people's favorite hymns. I had to pass to someone at the third year; that was a rule. We took turns. I simply gave a first note for four parts and start waving my arms. I thought that is conducting. As I studied more and more, I found out that conducting is not waving arms with tempo or meter at all. Especially, after I started taking classes of conducting, I honestly regretted many times why I changed my major to conducting. I cried countless days and nights because of difficulties. First of all, I have to know what I want so clearly about the music. For that stage, I have to study, analyze, interpret, and add my own musical opinion. I had to read a number of books for a one music sometimes. Reading takes for ever for me because I have to look up a dictionaries. It still does. I enjoy analyzing music but getting my own opinion was the worst one. There must be reasons why I want that music that way. Sometimes, I don't know what I want. From my background of education in Korea, we did not have our own opinion. We just needed to accept what teachers told us as 'truth". Sadly, if we had questions or own opinion, we had to be quiet and obeyed. So, that part was the hardiest part for me getting my own thoughts. Secondly, a conductor should deliver clearly to singers and players what the conductor wants. It is the worst nightmare. It is still my weakest part. One of reasons is a language. I am not a good English speaker. I cried every single afternoon for couple of years in the second floor music library at very corner after a conducting class. I felt so dumb and hopeless. However, my teachers helped and supported me a lot. One of teachers told me "you don't have to speak or talk too much for details. Just let them watch you and you show them with your conducting". I had to practice hours of speaking in front of choirs, practiced in front of mirrors with my techniques and words. All those painful and tearful times were not wasted one bit for sure. Funny thing was even though it was truly not easy, but I enjoyed most when I conducted. Frankly, I still cry a lot after rehearsals.
Lately, I joined a choir, I Cantori in Savannah. It is a small chamber community choir group. The choir group is invited from Hilton Head Symphony to sing one of my favorite mass with them tomorrow and Monday. Mozart's C minor Mass. It was one of my twelve pieces for my oral qualifying exam too. When I saw the conductor at Hilton Head Symphony orchestra, I thought about myself a lot. What makes a good conductor? Majority of great conductors in centuries has been charismatic people for sure. Many people said meaner ones make better music. However, I found out that it is not true. The meaner ones could make better music but not inspiring music. I have met many conductors who make people totally awesome and inspired. Most of them were very humble and modest. They politely asked players and singers to join them to make beautiful music.
I want to be a excellent conductor. I want to make people get inspired by my music, want to lead the choirs and orchestra with respect and love. At most, I want to be humble because I am just an instrument of the Lord. I want to give my best to the Lord and share with people. I don't want to be an "okay" conductor. I want to be an "excellent" one not only to people but most of all to my God.

P& P Ministries

After I heard Rev. Bill's sermon yesterday, I have thought about my calling from the Lord. I could call "P& P ministries". Praise and Prayer ministries. Especially, I am called for P& P ministries for sure at least at my church.
Lately, we have been focusing, at least myself, about how to live as a real active Christian. As I shared from last article, I have thought about how to be a living Christian who is active, quickly response to what the Lord says. As I walked with the prayer walk team this morning, lots of thoughts occurred in my head. First word came to me was"awake." It is related to also "active". How can I be awake in the Spirit always? How can I make people awake in the Spirit? If we are awake in the Spirit, we must have been responding to what the Lord says immediately. It is one of my resolutions. "Respond immediately! and don't postpone!" First thing First! Our priority can be made by ourselves. I myself, make lots of excuses about late responses from the Lord. I know all is from my decision of making priority. There is anyone to blame or make an excuse. It is all from my decision even though it looks not. Especially, Praise and prayers are from our decision. There is no excuse that someone or some circumstances make ourselves not to praise and pray. It is bitter but still true factor.
I had a moment to think about "quitting" the prayer walk with lack of responses from people. People said it was too early morning, so I moved to the afternoon. And they said it is too middle of a day to come to church. Before I decided to quit the prayer walk, I looked for any word in the bible "stop pray". I could not find one. So, I decided to keep doing it whether people will come or not. Also, I moved the time back to early morning. Praise and Prayer have a same requirement. "Commitment". Also P& P come from "lots of practice" and "discipline". If you do more, you will be better at. Like Hank's sermon, lots of people look for "being comfortable" as Christians. However, I think being a christian means I am giving up being comfortable in this world. My mom always tells me "comfortable life can destroy our life in Christ". She got through so much difficult time in her life but she told me that she could go nearer to the Lord because of the difficulties. I don't know yet how to share my vision and invite people to join me in P& P ministries. However, I will pray more for the ministries and people. I do remember that God kept Holy people for Elijah. I will pray to look for the people. I will pray for soften their hearts and open their eyes when they drive by our church that they think about at least once about God and themselves. Life will be better when we are active in Him.

The living life

Have you thought about "living life?" We live on earth. People live. One of cartoon characters in children's movie lately said " I don't want to survive but I wan to live." How can we tell we are living now. We could survive or just pass every day life so easily without thinking. A meaning of living must have been something different than just existing. Living means that moving, active, and inter-active one another. On Monday I had to go to have ultra sound in Savannah. While I was waiting, I read a wonderful story from a magazine in a waiting area. The story was about one middle aged woman in country side of India. She did not have any medical training or degree but has been helping women and babies as well as children in a small village for more than a decade. She does have only one blood pressure pump and scale, that is all. However, she has delivered 522 babies with 100 % successful delivery with healthy babies. She visits people, most of women in the village twice a day, checking their blood pressure, having pelvic exams, and hearing their stories. She even had leprosy when she was young. If she finds a dangerous case of pregnant woman, she helps them to go to a hospital immediately. She does not get paid a lot but does help a numerous women who mostly are neglected, and abused by their husbands and families. As I read the story, I asked myself many questions about how to live as living life as a good Christian. She even was not a Christian at all but she said she will help with her best, love, and warm hearts. She certainly has compassion. She is certainly living"living life".
We all agree and believe that our God is the Living God but we limits Him in certain areas. He might be the living God in only our sunday services. We don't want to see or agree how He is the living God. We may be afraid of to see the living God's actions really.
I want to live a really living life. Only way I can live a living life is "live in the living God".
I know it sounds a little bit strange but I do want to live in Him always.

Happy New Year!

It has been one of busiest Holiday season in my life. From right before Thanksgiving to right now second day of the new year I haven't had much time for myself. However, I am so thankful for the deep peace from the Lordthroughout those busy schedules.

I haven't thought about any resolutions for 2009 yet. However, one thing for sure is to be nearer to the Lord. I will try my best to pray and praise more with all my heart.

Let's have a Blessed New Year!! and be nearer to the Lord!