Easter

It's hard to feel or enjoy the Holy week or Easter as well as Christmas season truly as a person who serve a church as a music director. Even though I pray deeply, on that particular services, or occasion, I have to be alert to do my job well done. I have to think about a number of things; how many copies I need to make for musicians, how many choir members will show up, their seating chart, songs in order, and so on. Therefore, after all things done, I usually feel tired and missed the feel of the day. Like today, a day after Easter, I feel sometimes total lost. Where is my Easter? Where is the Holy week?
While I was feeling something missing, I started hearing a hymn that the choir sang as an offertory yesterday. "'He lives, he lives, Christ Jesus lives today. He walks with me and talk with me along life's narrow way. He lives, he lives, Salvation to impart. You ask me how I know He lives, He lives within my heart."
Yes, my Easter is in my heart because Jesus is with me always.

Having Sacred Holidays is not matter of the mood, food, or fellowship; it is a matter of my heart whether I have Him in the center of my heart or not. Then, I would feel Easter throughout a whole year! :) Happy Easter!

Feeling empty

It has been harder than I expected. I knew that I will have some hard time to feel normal for a while but I have been sad more than I could deal; my tears have been running without any warning, and my heart has felt so empty. Living far away from each other is hard, and it gets harder when parents get older, especially one of parents passed away and the other one lives by herself. I and mom cried for awhile before we left to the airport, prayed for each other harder that God may lead us to live together someday soon.
It was a true blessed time for two and half months that my mom visited us in here, but still separation never gets easy. Actually, it gets harder.
It was really hard to leave her when I visited Korea last May, and I cried for whole time on the air. My mom is seventy-seven. Life is too short to live in a long distance that we could see each other that often. What for? Why am I here and she is there? I have been thinking and thinking how I can see her soon again.
My heart has regretted what I should have done with her when she was here for more than three days now. It has led me to think how much I will regret after she leaves to the eternal home in the future. I don't want that happen!
I don't have any solution to suggest or financially have enough to go over there to visit that often either. These make me more sad.

I wonder what God's plan is for us and pray that God fills both my hearts and mom's hearts with full of faith and confidence that there will be sometime soon that God will provide the chance.

We need your prayers, friends. We do.