I had a bitter experience lately at our pool in our neighborhood. There was a couple outside of the pool and a boy who was playing by himself at the pool when my friends who were visiting us from Detroit, and we got there. Our kids were playing lively and the boy was trying to play with my kids. My friend's son played with the boy and threw one of the boy's toy into the water to catch. The mother of the boy yelled outloud "You don't want to throw the toy like that! You are very mean!" and came to her son, telling "don't play with them, go to the other end of the pool". Well....I was watching and trying to figure it out what my friend's son did wrong. A few minutes later, there was a family with three kids coming into the pool and starting playing with the toy without permission to say. She did not say anything and let them play with her precious boy. She kept looking us in very hatful eyes. My friend asked "is this a normal happening in this area?" I could not answer. In my head, I was trying to figure it out what I should do. I could not do anything. My girls kept asking why the woman got so mean and yelled to them with no reason. They were expecting me to do something back to the woman but what I could do? I have felt sick from deep in my stomach for sure but can't help to change the woman's prejudice mind. Honestly, I have had countless bad experiences since I came to the state. At the first time, I was really upset and got so mad that I could not even sleep. However, I kind of overcame with those people. It still makes me very sad though. It happens still a lot even though you don't see it through your eyes. I sometimes am treated as just an Asian woman who can't speak English at all. Good thing is that I became not bothered with them. They don't know me at all but just assume who I am by seeing outside. That is okay. It is not my problem but theirs.
I have asked questions about myself too. Do I have any problems with any different people around me with no reason? I confess that I do too. I have been thinking to find out why people do not want to accept "differences" and we also like to make superior ourselves over others in many places. All is from lack of self-esteem for sure. If we think about Jesus, He never compared himself to others. He never tried to pretend someone who look wealthy or intelligent. He just acted as himself. I think that we all have, somehow, low self-esteem. We can't stand not comparing to others' in every single thing to make us feel better or worse. If we find out that there is one thing better than others, we act and believe that we are superior than the others. If we find out that they are better, we have to get something to make us feel like better than them. What a tragedy!I know for sure, God created everyone different. What if God made us all the same? I think that we still want to find who is superior than others. God created us totally different but gives us same value; worthy than the whole world. Even though we don't see or accept ourselves the worth, God is still seeing us the same precious child of His. I really do want to see myself and others like how God sees us. Then, I even will not be sad with no matter what people treat me or my girls. I truly want to have the hearts of God. I truly want my kids to have that hearts so, they can't be hurt or give hurt toward others who are different from them.
Lord, my Father, please open our hearts and eyes to see the world like You see it. Please, let us have your hearts and eyes!
