Yoon's musical note

The Christmas Cantata, Night of the Father's Love, was lifted up to the Lord on last Sunday at our church, Floris UMC. I am deeply grateful for God's presence, and His faithfulness that He answers our prayers always. I heard and purchased the music in may when I was still in Richmond Hill, GA. I prayed to God that "Lord, please let me lift this music up to you". However, I could not imagine how to do it in the circumstance that there was no string orchestra available. And the music was a harder for the choir. While I was applying for my new job, I still prayed if God opened the position for me also to praise Him with the cantata. However, I did not insist to Him that it should be this particular one. I laid everything down to the Lord. After I started working at Floris, and sharing my thought about this Christmas music, it started becoming my dream come true. Even though there were many huddles and barriers to overcome, God has led me keep on praying and moving forwar...

As a musician, December is the busiest month of a year. Not only as a musician, but also as a mom, as a wife of a singer, December is the busiest month of a year. I think everyone feels like I do. So it is very hard to make a decision to have a moment to stop, listen, and focused. Thankfully, God has reminded me through our worship services at Floris that I do need to have that moment especially in this season. If I think about Christmas deeply, it is not all about getting gifts, sending cards, having parties, singing at concerts and so on. It is all about Jesus who came down as a fragile baby, given up all the glories of Heaven and earth, to save us. I truly could understand how happy we are during the season but questioned that "are we really happy because of His salvation?" Jesus came as Emmanuel, God is with us, as a form of a human baby who was totally in poor and fragile environment. It is a mystery. What on earth, the prince of Peace decided to get birth in a smelly ba...

I love to drink hot drinks: coffee, tea, apple cider, hot coco, and so on. I love smell of coffee at coffee shops. Somehow it gives me some fuggy feeling and warmth memory of Christmas. When I was a full time doctoral student, I had to drink several cups of coffee to be awake without much sleep. I can confess that I spent a large amount of money in coffee. I enjoyed the smell when I entered the coffee shop, most of all, I enjoyed fellowship at that time with my dear friends. Especially, during cold winter near the end of the semester, my friends and I went there to get some hot coco after long hours of study at the library, hearing background of sweet carols. After I moved down to Richmond Hill, there was no Starbucks. However, it happened a couple of months later in a Kroger which is located across from my church. So, like a habit, I used to stop by to get a cup of coffee, especially with my dear friends after lunch. Gracefully, my friend treated me often for the coffee. Since I have ...

Time really flies faster in this year than any other year for me. The advent is here already! My precious advent cactus just has started blooming on last Saturday night. It is just amazing how the plant knows when it is time to bloom! As I read Rev. Bill's blog last year about the advent cactus, I also felt that God showed His faithfulness through this little plant to let us know about Him. By the way, I have kept Rev. Bill's advent cactus at my home now. Unfortunately, while we moved it got sick a little bit, so all the buds were fell off but it still is alive! The one which is blooming now given two years ago from one of handbell choir members at RHUMC. Thanks Terri! As I was amazed observing the cactus, I remembered how often I forget about the season. Even though physically I am there at the season and do so many things to fulfill the season at the church, I easily miss the real meaning of the season: waiting patiently with well prepared heart. I even often forget whom I do...

Lately, I have been enjoying very much a Disciple I group on Thursday morning at our church, Floris. I took the course when I was serving as a missionary candidate long time ago in Korea. So, I feel like that everything comes to me as new even though I read a bible daily. We have been studying the big people in the old tastement last week: Samuel, Saul, David, and Solomon. I have thought about various thoughts and point of views about those people while I was reading the chapters, especially, David. He was not abnormally bright or good looking I don't think. He was truly a human. As more I read, I could more understand how much he was a true human who was full of emotion. As we all know, David was a strong leader but a very sensitive man. well.. sadly the sensitivity led him to temptation. However, I think he was still David who had loved, feard, and known God so well. I was wondering how God loved David more than anybody else or how David feard God so deeply with true love and sin...

Have you felt grumpy? I do. Especially I do feel grumpy when I am lack of sleep or physically tired. However, I notice that even though I am lack of sleep or physically tired, I can be thankful and cheerful all the time if I am full of Holy Spirit. That is for sure! I analysize closely my behavior and mood swings. And it is sure that it is not my good personality to be cheerful and joyful all the time. It is the Holy Spirit. I used to think that I was born with cheerful heart because I was always happy, and people liked me, as well as I did too. However, I have found out that I could not be happy (really) and cheerful without Him totally because I am a sinner. My feet run fast to go to sinful thing. My heart always wants to judge people with my own narrow minded ruler, I want to be recognized by people when I do good things, and most of all I want to compare to someone to be better or worse which is I think the most sinful nature. All those sins is rooted somehow in "comparison...

Since I have moved in Northern VA, driving is a big adventure everyday. I notice that people are much busier than any other cities, and they drive crazy. As a dull driver, I have to pray for God's protection whenever I sit down at the driver sit. That is good thing that I can at least pray about it. My poor GPS has been blamed a lot because there are many new roads that she-my kids named her Savannah, so it is she-does not know at all. However, I have found a great comfort at a particular moment with her voice. " approaching destination within o. 3 feet. " Whenever I drive to work, I get my smile when Savannah said it. I have found why I get smile because it gives a sort of comfort that I arrive safely where I need to be. I have thought about my life and final destination, and imagine my last breath hearing " approaching destination within three second." Will I have comfort to hear that? Will I not regret that I should have lived better life? We all are live ...

It has been an adventure for almost a month. As I shared before, I got a new job in Floris UMC , Herndon , VA. I did not sleep more than three hours every night until a week ago. Finally, I can sleep more than five hours at night at least. I was fully stressed with packing, moving, and adjusting to the new life in VA. Amazing part is God has been revealing Himself to let me know in every second that He is with me, especially through His words. Even though there was two hours horrible storm on the way to VA that I could not see a thing in front, I drove through it with my old favorite small car, the little foot named by my girls. Even though there were a number of things that made me looking back and missing stuff, God keeps telling me "Seek Him"only, and "Press on!" It has not been easy but I can tell you that God is Good all the time no matter what. :) One thing that I prayed and begged to God before I moved was "please help me to kneel to you every morning wi...

Obedience is the key to how to live following God's guidence in the world. However, it is the most difficult thing to do. Obedience requires a full heart, not a partial. If we obey, that is it; no doubt, no complains, no whining, But rather rejoice, give thanks, and enjoy the situation. It is easy to say but I can tell you that it is very hard to do. Through a devotion this morning with His words from Numbers 9:23, I confessed my weakness in faith and disobedient life in God. "At the Lord's command they encamped, and at the Lord's command they set out. They obeyed the Lord's order, in accordance with his command through Moses." Living the world is very similar with the Israelite's 40 years until they reached Cannan. We do know the final destination, Heaven, but still need to walk through in faith in every single step. I know and believe that we are saved by Jesus on the Cross, but still we complain, fall, and go astray. Right there, there is the Cross to t...

I have difficulties to sleep long enough lately with lots of thoughts in my head. Benefit of being an early bird (often too early though) is having a deep meditation of God's words and prayer time. I woke up at 2:30 this morning, having a devotion with the prodigal son's story. It always give me a deep insight of amazing grace. The detailed descriptions of the father when he saw the son's returning, give me tears always. Even though the son told him that he was not worthy even to be called a son, the father was not even listening what the son said, but just hugged and kissed his son, told his servants to bring the best robe for his son, the best robe! Whenever I read this moment, I could hear God's voice that He loves me like that. That is the grace! God gave His only Son to save us. What we need to be saved is just accepting Him as our Savior and surrender to Him all. The surrender brings blessings the best blessings like the best robe. However, we often hesitate to su...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart." Proverbs 3:5 As a christian, I do believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. However, sometimes I have to ask myself a question "Do I really trust in the Lord with all my heart?" If I do, I should not be worried, or anxious about things. So, it brings a fact that I do not trust Him with all my heart. Lately, I had a chance to put everything on the table to lift up to the Lord about my future. I said in my prayers, and told other people that I lifted up everything to the Lord but I found myself that I still was very anxious about with lots of questions of what if. If I acknowledge the Lord as the Creator, the loving and faithful Father, and my Saviour, I should not worry for sure. Because He is the one who provides with His abundant love. I shared with my mom last night on the phone that I am too small to see a big picture that God has already made for me but what I can do is, trusting Him with all my heart that His way is th...

I have been anxious about things lately a lot. Even though I said "I trust in the Lord with all my heart", I still be anxious about things. Today, I had a moment for a devotion with a little book, found a good one! I would like to share in here. It is written one of my favorite writers, Philp Yancey. I hope everyone enjoy it! Why Suffer? by Philip Yancey. Read: Matthew 5:1-12 Jesus taught that the world seen from God's view point is titled in favor of the oppressed. This teaching emerges in the Sermon on the Mount and other statements of Jesus: the first will be last (Matt. 19:30; Mark 10:31; Luke 13:30), and he who humbles himself will be exalted(Luke 14:11; 18:14). But why would God single out the oppressed for special attention? 1. Suffering helps us realize our urgent need for redemption. 2. Suffering helps us experience our dependence on God and our interdependence with one another. 3. Suffering helps us distinguish between necessities and luxuries. 4. Suffereing hel...

I have failed to finish a diet program, and try to fast lately. Interestingly, when I am full filled with the Holy Spirit, I do not gain weight. But when I am down in my Spiritual life, I definitaly gain. Since this Spring, I have gain a lot in short period time. I could see how my Spiritual life is by watching my weight. I know..it sounds silly but it is true. I have been stressed and sad in circumstances at my work lately. It is part of reasons but mostly it is from deceiving feeling of contentment in my Spirit. I compromise myself with eating, and making excuses in many ways to get away from the reality. I ask myself questions this morning, " How much do I hunger and thirst for the Lord?"While listening a sermon at a radio, I agreed in every single word that we need to thirst and hunger to live God's way like we look for air to breath in every moment. We have full of food in our pantries, refridgrators, and counter tops, and waterfountains are found easily to fill our ...

God has blessed me through many people in my life from my families: parent, grandparents, cousins, and so on to friends. Especially, God has sent me wonderful father figure people around me always. God knows how close my dad and I was. After my dad passed away, th emost I miss is his smile which towards me based on unshakable love. I could see the smile through my husband's face when he looks at my girls. On the other hand, God provides someone who I could ask good advices, helps, and prayers without hesitation. One of them is Rev. Bill. I have only known him for less than three years but he is like my dad. Even though there was not much time to know him, he has been a strong leader, boss, and supporter for me. Whatever I brought up, he has always been supportive and given a good thoughts and prayers. However, he is leaving soon to retire and I have been sad with a sort of separation anxieity: I even keep dreaming of the last day of his service at our church. Even though I know tha...

Last Sunday, I and my girls made a rule for making Sunday more Holy and focused by not using any technologies such as computer, TV, I-Pod, or DS for a day, Sunday. When I had a moment of a daily devoition on last Sunday morning, the thought just occured to me, and I shared with the girls. I have found that my girls stay with either computer or I-Pod for long period of time at home lately as well as my husband, and myself. Bad parts of spending time with the machines is losing time to connect to someone else. The machines occupy people's mind and time. Last Sunday was not easy for me especially to survive without those machines especially. The girls went to their friends house for sleep over, and my husband went to his church retreat. I was by myself for whole day and night. Interesting thing was I spent more hours of reading, napping, and cleaning than usual. Of course, my mind was clearer than anytime. I think we become addicted to these technologies without conscious. If we stick...

Because of high technology, we are living systems of "wireless". I do still remember when I had first time a wireless phone at home. I was amazed how the phone worked. It has accelerated to remote controls, cell phones, wireless mouse, and wireless internet services and so on. It certainly is convienence for sure, especially wireless frees limitation in spaces. I have thought about our lives with God. It is truly wireless. However, there is an invisible line between Him and us. Interesting part is we often can't find out whether it is connected or not. Like, interent wireless service, we have to have a signal which shows ability for the service. Even though the computer is new and expensive, we can't get a service without the signal. It is like the Holy Spirit. If we do not have the Spirit, we hardly get the service. We sometimes get cheated by ourselves by great looking outside. God's wireless service is eternal, unlimited, and runs by grace. When I woke up middl...

What a beautiful Spring! The weather has been gorgeous lately. The trees have new leaves and the grass turned green again like a magic. It amazes me that nature is always faithful whether the previous winter was harshly cold or not. I have had a pot of amaryllis for several years. It blooms regardless if we were in Bloomington, IN or in Richmond Hill. However, I totally forgot to put the pot insede during this last bitter winter. It seemed totally dried and frozen dead when I found it last month. I felt guilty that I neglected it. After we came back from our spring break trip to Indiana, Joanne screamed out loud "Mom! Mom! come here!"Guess what happened! Three amaryllis flowers were already blooming beautifully. I could not believe how it survived. I had felt so much shame that one day I threw the pot away into the trash cane, and neglected it. However, it was right under a sunny spot. God took care of it no matter what- with sun and rain! I have learned several things throug...

Lately, my girls have been into buying some necklace, bracelet, or some accessories with best friends forever written to give to their friends. I have thought about my bff :best friend forever. I have had many friends, and it has been a true blessing to have them in my life. However, I am not sure who I can call as my B.F.F. In Korea, old people said if we find a friend who we can trust to ask take care of my family without feeling any sorry or doubt when we are in danger, we can tell that we live a pretty good life. What if I am sick and will die soon, do I have someone to ask take care of my lovely girls without doubt? I am not sure. When I was in elementary school, teachers asked students always who was our best friend. The teachers made a note to each kid whom is their best friend. Interestingly, I usually could not write one single name for my best friend. However, my name was written a lot in my friends' best friend line. My teacher asked me personally one day about it. I to...

Jesus. why did you give up your glory? why did you bear the humiliation? why did you become a servant? why Lord? Whenever I read through the life of Jesus, I was wondering why he loves people who don't deserve his love so much. I could tell that I do not deserve it either. How can I even close to understand the love? However, I am honored, I am blessed, and I got the victory through Jesus my Savior. It is a true grace that a sinner like me got to get the eternal life because His grace! In my home church in Korea used to go out to spread the Gospel on Easter Sunday right after the services. We brought bulletin written for evangelism to the people. I was shy sometimes, could not go to say a word to tell them about my Jesus. However, I did try give the bulletin at least and say "Jesus loves you and please accept Jesus as your Savior." Whether we are six years old or eighty years old, we all went to outside right after Easter service. It was our tradition of Easter. I miss t...

I could not figure it out what was wrong tonight. I could not find out still. I never have felt this strange in my life with any kinds of musical worship service, or performances. I could not think of anything else than being powerless. It is different feeling from feeling failure. I could feel like there was nothing what I have prayed for. However, I could feel that I had to go out and pray for others somehow, I did. My hearts was aching so bad with something that could not be explained. I knew something bothering me for a while but could not find what it is still. What should I pray for? I have been confessing and repenting but still have struggle to find any answers. Father, what should I do? I even have prayed if He wants me to leave His ministry, I will obey. I do not want to hear people say " The music was beautiful", or "it sounds wonderful." I rather want to hear " I met Jesus tonight" or "I could feel His presence". Am I looking for a wr...

Tomorrow, our church choir will do our Lenten Cantata called " The Lenten Sketches" by Joseph Martin . The cantata is consisted of six movements with Jesus' last week of His earthly life. The music is not difficult but beautifully composed with good text. I love the last movement called " Pieta ". It describes how Mary holds Jesus after His death as a mother with a baby, and sings a lullaby. It brings me tears every moment. Mary was a mom even though she knew Jesus was a Son of God. She nursed, and raised him as a mom. Jesus was the Son of God but totally a human. He was also a child of Mary. I thought that it does not match with the Holy week with too much human emotion at first time but became loving them with honesty emotion. I am not sure how people will response to the Cantata tomorrow night. But I have been praying that God will send people who need to reconcile with Him as a children of our Father. This cantata is my third one in Richmond Hill UMC . I c...

When I was in forth grade at an elementary school, I took private lessons with an artist, who was a senior in college and very good. I learned basic sketches and waterpainting. I found myself that I could paint for four straight hours without even complaining it was boring. Also, the teacher helped me to open my eyes to see things in different ways; such as I used to paint only black on people's hair, and he showed me how various colors were combined one person's hair. After an year of painting, I fell in love painting, wanted to go on deeper but my dad did not like me to go on. I could understand why now. However, I was very disappointed that I had to stop going the lesson. I love to see good arts, especially paints. I could get comforted, delighted, and inspired by those too. I used to visit exhibitions in museums often. Nowadays, I do not have much time to go somewhere, so I visit their web site to taste those beautiful pictures. It is a wonderful that I could do that at lea...

It has been a long and cold winter. Even though March arrived, it is still unusually cold. However, I could smell and feel arriving of Spring. I saw beautiful bloomed deffodils this morning as my routine walking with Angie. I also found several new buds on the trees. Spring will arrive soon like a queen. We are already heading to the third weeks of Lent. Time flies. If we are not aware of where we are now, the time will fly by faster without any marks. Time is gift from God. I want to be able to use this gift as worthy as possible. I pray that I open my eyes, ears, and heart to the Lord, and live by His Spirit.Let's obey, yes, obedience is the key of living by His Spirit. Let's trust Him truly with all my heart, yes, trusting is the key of living by faith. Let's love, yes, loving is the key of winning the world. Beyond all, let's confess that we can't do anything ourselves. We need HIM.

I am not a sports fan, but I have been watching the winter Olympic game with my family this week. While I was watching epsecially figure sketings, I could feel the pain in my heart for the people who fell at the performances. As a performer, I could understand 100% how they would feel. They must have spent days and nights in practices to get better and make a fine performance for that day. However, stuff happenes. I do not think that it is because of their lack of practices, talents, or even luck. It just happens without a doubt. Most people try to find reasons why it happens, or to find reasons to blame. Audience and the world are very cold and sharp. They do not accept excuses or behind stories for the failures. The performer can't get a medal for sure. On the other hand, I am so grateful that God does not give medals due to how we perform. Especially, falling is not that matter. After all, falling can be even a good thing because we get better and stronger to hold His hand tight...

I do not like to postpone stuff personally. I know how painful it is to be uncomfortable in mind if there is something I have to do it right away. That was also a good habit to finish my course work and qualifying exams without delaying with two little children and a partime job when I was Bloomington. I was kind of boastful that I rather facing the things right away than postponing with heavy burden in my heart. However, it was a totally wrong thought about myself because I have been postponing to finish my doctorate degree with an unwritten dissertation. Last year Lent, I made my mind that I would write at least couple of pages every day during Lent to finish the dissertation but it never happened. After that, I even did not try to open my dissertation file from my document, look, or read any source for that. I put it all under somewhere that I even do not see near by. Even though it stinks to think about it, I avoided thinking about it and did not want to start again. I know that I ...

Whenever I read Acts, I am amazed how the Holy Spirit worked through the apostles and how different people's responses to the message of Gospel. Especially, the story of Stephen's persecution gives me deep thoughts. When Peter spread the gospel boldly at the first time right after Pentecost, lots of people responsed with deep rependent "When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, "Brothers, what shall we do?" (Acts 2:37) However, when Stephen was testifying Jesus, people even did not want to hearit and stoned him to die. "At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him." (Act 7:57) Why did people respond totally opposite? Was that matter of difference of Peter and Stephen's messages? Was Peter better than Stephen? Was not Stephen in the Holy Spirit? No, not at all. Both of them were fully in the Hol...

My Joanne had her tonsil remove surgery last Tuesday. Even though the surgery is considered as safe and easy, it was not that easy on me. I never put my children to any surgeries before so it was a anxious moment for me. I can tell that I am a brave person who am not afraid of being cut, or poked but I am a very weak person who am afraid of seeing her child being cut or poked for sure. The anxiety was not from my lack of faith. It was matter of denial of my parentship. I had a moment to give up on my parentshipe to God totally when Christine was born. I had 45 hours of labor with her, ended up having C section. Not only that, right after the birth, I had a deep postpartum depression. I was worried totally about how I can keep the fragile new born baby in safe. One thing was surely helping me a lot to get rid of the fear and worries was prayer. Through the prayer, I could see who is the Ruler and King, so I could give up on the parentshood over the baby with faith. However, I did not ha...

I do not like a word, "indulge". Well.. it may be because of my lack of understanding American culture, or English itself. However, I do not like the word. The word gives me negative image of powerless Christians. I have thought about how to live as a good Christian in this world, found several causes to make believers powerless. One of them is this self indulgent. I think that it is easy to compromise between indulgent and acceptance. We compromise to make things easy on ourselves in every single moment in our daily life; making reasonable excuses, being comfortable, being easy and so on. For me, it is a true challenge to discern and not to judge in many occasions. For example, people do not come to church on Sunday because it is cold, they are tired, and somewhere to go and so on. They send me e-mails or leave messages to let me know why they missed worship service. I usually respond that I miss them and hopefully they are coming back next time. However, I honestly feel ver...

God has given me a new motto in 2010: " Grow in God's Spirit, and bear fruitful!" I pray that I grow more in His Spirit to not only deeper my knowledge to know Him, but also bear fruits of His Spirit to glorify Him throughout my life. In Colossians Paul prayed for people in Colosse that " ...we have not stopping praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the king of light." (Colossians 1:9-12) I am very excited to start 2010 to observe how He will lead me. I will continue to have intimate time wi...