Yoon's musical note

It's hard to feel or enjoy the Holy week or Easter as well as Christmas season truly as a person who serve a church as a music director. Even though I pray deeply, on that particular services, or occasion, I have to be alert to do my job well done. I have to think about a number of things; how many copies I need to make for musicians, how many choir members will show up, their seating chart, songs in order, and so on. Therefore, after all things done, I usually feel tired and missed the feel of the day. Like today, a day after Easter, I feel sometimes total lost. Where is my Easter? Where is the Holy week? While I was feeling something missing, I started hearing a hymn that the choir sang as an offertory yesterday. "'He lives, he lives, Christ Jesus lives today. He walks with me and talk with me along life's narrow way. He lives, he lives, Salvation to impart. You ask me how I know He lives, He lives within my heart." Yes, my Easter is in my heart because Jesus ...

It has been harder than I expected. I knew that I will have some hard time to feel normal for a while but I have been sad more than I could deal; my tears have been running without any warning, and my heart has felt so empty. Living far away from each other is hard, and it gets harder when parents get older, especially one of parents passed away and the other one lives by herself. I and mom cried for awhile before we left to the airport, prayed for each other harder that God may lead us to live together someday soon. It was a true blessed time for two and half months that my mom visited us in here, but still separation never gets easy. Actually, it gets harder. It was really hard to leave her when I visited Korea last May, and I cried for whole time on the air. My mom is seventy-seven. Life is too short to live in a long distance that we could see each other that often. What for? Why am I here and she is there? I have been thinking and thinking how I can see her soon again. My heart...